Gift-Giving Etiquette
Gift giving can be a fun, social activity that draws people together. It can also be tedious and difficult, and a social situation strewn with behavioral landmines. What if you receive a gift that’s offensive, or that reeks or regifting? What if an acquaintance buys you a thoughtful and expensive Christmas present, and you have nothing to give in return? These are just a few of the great etiquette questions that can come up around any gift giving situation.
Stick With What’s Appropriate
One of the main etiquette principles when it comes to gift giving is to avoid anything that’s inappropriate or offensive. What’s inappropriate? According to manners gurus, it’s important to stay away from anything that feels too personal unless it’s for a spouse or partner. Cologne, underwear, bathrobes, or other personal items should be taboo unless they are for that special someone.
You also want to avoid stirring up personal issues or playing into cultural stereotypes. For women, anything weight related, like a bathroom scale or gym membership, must be avoided at all costs. Kitchen appliances are a no-go as well, unless specifically asked for.
Avoid Regifting
Thoughtful gift giving means nearly always avoiding regifting. Usually, if you have something that could potentially be regifted, it is because the gift is generic or cookie cutter. Any recipient can recognize such generic gifts, and is likely to be slighted or offended. The one time regifting is acceptable, is when a gift is truly uniquely fitting for the recipient, but not for you. In this instance, if you do decide to regift, be honest and say something like, “I got this from a friend, but when I saw it I immediately thought of you.” It’s much less awkward to be upfront than to lie or have to deal with the question “But where did you find this?!”
When You Don’t Have a Gift In Return
One awkward social situation happens when a friend, family member, or acquaintance surprises you with a gift you weren’t expecting or that is obviously much more expensive than the gift you have for them in return. When this happens, etiquette gurus say it’s okay to go without giving back, and that you shouldn’t feel embarrassed. You also shouldn’t feel the need to run out to the store and buy them a comparable gift in return. Simply thank them honestly for their gift, and tell them you weren’t expecting such a thoughtful gesture.
When You Receive an Undesirable Gift
For gift etiquette, a thoughtful reception is just as important as thoughtful giving. Even if the gift is something out of left field (Oh, a purple sequined sweater!), smile and thank the giver, and don’t show your disappointment. If it’s a gift someone expects you to use, use it once or twice, and then relegate it to the closet. You’ve shown your appreciation, but you don’t have to perpetrate a fraudulent affinity for a truly terrible gift.
Write Those Thank You Notes
Thank you notes are still an important part of gift giving, even in our world of electronic communication. Written note cards are the most polite route, and even these don’t have to be very formal. If you truly can’t muster up the motivation to send a paper note, an e-mail is also acceptable.
More Information:
Sources:
A holiday guide to gift-giving etiquette. (2003) CNN.